We all know that kids love to laugh play. It’s part of how they learn and grow. Play shapes a growing brain, helping kids learn how to make social connections, develop language, build self-regulation skills, and improve executive function. Unfortunately, kids are spending more time in front of screens, which means their playtime is shrinking.

The good news is that parents and families can do something about it—play with their kids. The bonus? When you play together as a family, it’s good for you too. Play increases connection, lowers stress, regulates the nervous system, and is a fantastic way to cut through conflict.

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Benefits of Play

“There is a connection to play that is stronger, more meaningful, and more personal than what you get in any other type of interaction,” says Christopher Mannino, a parenting coach and author of the forthcoming book, Making It Up: A Revolutionary Way to Bond with Kids Through Play.1

“Play brings a sense of safety to our nervous system,” explains Michelle Grosser, who explores the neuroscience of parenting on her podcast, The Calm Mom.2 When parents and kids play together, they do something called autonomic co-regulation. That’s a fancy way of saying that the connection between them calms both of their nervous systems down. “When we engage in play, it tells our body that we are safe, and there’s no need to be running or planning or preparing for any threat,” says Grosser.

“Play actually reduces the production of stress hormones in the body,” says Grosser. The chemicals, like cortisol, that make us feel really irritated or edgy or overwhelmed aren't being pumped through us when we're being playful.

Want to make play a bigger part of your family life? Here are five ways to do it.

1. Pick Something That You Enjoy Doing Too

As an advocate for parents, especially moms, Grosser recommends finding something you would also enjoy doing. “There are things that feel like play to my kids, like Barbies, that don’t feel like play to me,” says Grosser. If you can’t think of what you want to do, don’t worry. “I work with women who have so much to do that they’ve become disconnected from their own joy. It can be hard for them to think of anything that sounds fun to them.”

She suggests thinking back to what made you happy as a kid. Hide and seek? Tag? Skateboarding? Playing an instrument? Shooting hoops? Come up with a few and see if other family members are willing to give them a try. “Just stay really open and curious about trying new things and seeing if it feels fun for you,” says Grosser.

2. Try Board Games and Sports to Bridge Age Gaps

If you have children in your family of various ages, it can be hard to get the 6-year-old and the 11-year-old to agree on anything, but a card game like Uno or a board game like Sorry can bring them together. The same goes for a game of H.O.R.S.E. on the basketball court. Twister combines physicality with a structured game and almost always ends with laughter.

Check out these lists of popular family board games and games that you can play with just what you have around the house.

3. Play at the Playground

The playground is a great place to give imaginary play a try, says Mannino, “because kids are instantly imagining playing something—whether it's an outer space trip or a castle, there is always something. If your kid is on the slide and says that's a tunnel down into the center of the earth, just go with it.”

If you don't have easy access to a playground, try to find a flat area of green space.

4. Just Say ‘Yes’

“It’s really easy to say ‘no’ as a parent,” says Mannino. “[You might say] ‘I’m in the middle of doing something’ or ‘this is silly’ or ‘I don’t want to make a fool of myself on the playground,’” but saying yes tells your kid you want to connect and opens the door for what comes next. “Most people know that the basis of improv is saying ‘yes, and,’” says Mannino, whose book is based on his training and experiences in theater. By saying yes and adding something small, you can build a story or world together.

5. When All Else Fails, Throw a Tea Party

A tea party has an existing structure to build on, which can be helpful when dipping your toes in imaginary play. The guests might look different—dolls, stuffed animals, other family members—but you know the basic format to follow. Once you’re set up, “when your kid comes up with things, just say ‘yes,’” Mannino recommends.

However you decide to bring more play into your family, know that you’re helping to bring your family closer while improving your child’s health at the same time.

[1] Mannino, C. & Reid, C. (n.d.). Making It Up: A Revolutionary Way to Bond with Kids Through Play. Bookshop.org. Retrieved April 15, 2025 from https://bookshop.org/p/books/making-it-up-a-revolutionary-way-to-bond-with-kids-through-play/7febea2da1412f5c?ean=9798893960068&next=t&

[2] Grosser, M. (n.d.). The Calm Mom Podcast. Michelle Grosser. Retrieved April 15, 2025 from https://michellegrosser.com/podcast

Why Play Is the Secret to a Happy Family:

5 Ways to Play Together as a Family

                  Kate Rope

Award-winning freelance journalist and author

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